blessed

my room has six windows in it. in the winter i keep the blinds closed to try and keep in a little heat. otherwise i like to have them open as much as possible. but right now i just have one of the blinds half up--the one that is just over the top of my computer, so i raise my eyes now and see through the bare branches down to the street below. i can also just see the western sky, a peek of the sunset when it comes. cars pass occasionally, but mostly there is stillness. and the tiny figures of a person or two walking to class.

it's almost as if you have to be this far away to appreciate the magnanimity in people. to see them so tiny. everything else around is all for them, all for us. even the glow of the sunset. we get far too focused on all the surroundings so often. or we become so focused on just one person that the rest become fuzzy.

sometimes there is a desire in me to take far too much of it in. to engage in far too many friendships than one person can hold.
sometimes i want to go off and live secluded from all else, so that i can be free from all that they take. and yet i love to give. but it keeps me from much else.
sometimes i want to love one woman to a depth i cannot even imagine right now. i think that's most of the time.

really though i'm writing this post because i was reflecting on something these past few days. i had a couple friends come to manhattan to visit, a couple phone conversations, and other interactions. i've had a lot of things kind of stirred up in me over the past several weeks, and while life was something slower and calmer--accompanied by a stillness from God not long ago, all that has changed. life has taken off running.

and in the midst of it all i am just incredibly struck by the amazing friends that i have in my life. i cannot express how blessed i feel by them and how fortunate i am in having so many quality presences in my life. for those of you who are them and are in the blogging world, thank you.

life is about people. true joy comes from the beauty of relationship, both with God and people. you can trudge all over europe to seek beauty and find nothing of that true joy. i wish the same blessing upon you all.

give.