feb. 15th

the ides of february is much less intimidating than next month. now, question--is it still the "ides" of february on the 15th since there are only 28 days in the month?* if it's the 14th than maybe we should again beware.

well it's another valentine's day come and gone. i watched a decidedly unromantic movie with some friends tonight. well, not romantic in that way. if you can call communist revolutionaries "romantic" in any sort of way. been wanting to see it for some time, and i'm glad i finally have. very interesting. and inspiring. not to become a communist--don't worry. but to travel south america. especially chile. anyone want to go with me? i wonder what communists would think of valentine's day....

it's a funny holiday to be sure. i don't need to say anything about it really as you've probably heard it all. i thought the picture was funny, but i'm not in all black or anti-the holiday or whatever. though i have to say--and i can say it now with a smile--that i was broken up with on valentine's day two years ago. what a crime! ha. no it is just funny thinking about it now. and somehow last year i ended up going to dinner with 5 single women. this year was a lot more normal, and i'm thankful for that.

still, you can't help but think about love a little bit. i've been thinking about going back and reading some of kierkegaard's works of love, but there is just so much that i want to read right now. i have them stacked up. i should crack it open though. the thing is, i've realized that for so much of what i've read about love in the past i've focused on it in the romantic sense. that has been such an idol for me in the past that it takes away my striving to learn how to love my brother better. to love my neighbor. to love without the great feelings. i try to be "good" to people. i love them easily in the ways that come natural to me. but i want to learn more. i want to be so much more full of love.

i received a letter today from my (former) brother-in-law. he's in prison right now. long story there. but it really breaks my heart. life and love. it can all seem so overwhelming at times. how do i love him where he is now? how can i go on pursuing all my own ends while he has nothing to pursue? he sits in his cell, works and gets "paid" $12 a month and has to use it to buy general hygiene products because the stuff they provide is so horrible. how can i ignore all my other "brothers" who are in prisons all around the world? all around me? bars or no.

oh lord increase my love. increase my love beyond just the stories of love i know--more than love for my family. more than love for my own. more than fighting for love like a romantic comedy. more than when i can fit it in my schedule. more than myself. let me lost my life truly. how can a day like today be even possibly one of self-pity? love is quite ready to abound. and there is no going without it. it is only a moment away wherever i might give it. lord lift my eyes up--to you and to those around me.


* the ides of a the month is on the 15th for March, May, July, and October. every other month it's on the 13th. crazy romans. learn something new everyday eh? or maybe you all already knew that. i sure didn't.


  1. i think it's funny and slightly ironic how cupid's method of making people fall in love is shooting them full of arrows. chile sounds fun, though i bet south america would be 5x as fun if you knew spanish pretty well

  2. i'm glad you're not a communist.
    yes, lets all go to chile together.
    i've had an incling to travel anyway, so this works out just dandy.

    i feel that love, in the physical 'boy girl sense' is an idol for so many of us to fall under, myself included. guilty as charged-i feel that this is true for so many reasons, of which i won't even begin to dive into through a blog post because of their randomness and or serious magnitude.

    lets just all go to chile and love on everyone there as our brothers ans sisters and will talk out the idols and trials and truth of life there. plan stan? ok good. ready set break.