by its cover

so, a few weeks ago i gave a friend of mine a ride somewhere. while on the way she carried with her a little baggy of cereal. a snack or a poor substitute for dinner? you tell me. in any event, she offered to share some and i really liked it. i hadn't had it before. now you must understand, cereal is a precious thing for me. i tend to not like very many kinds--and the kinds that i do like i very often get sick of it fairly quickly.* case in point: frosted mini-wheats. i defy you to eat more than 10 bowlfuls and still desire to eat more after that. (of course, not having a garbage disposal at my old house and therefore needing to dump any remains down the toilet did not help).

*exception to the rule--any cereal that has cinnamon in it. cinnamon toast crunch (off brand is actually better, but worse for you health-wise), cinnamon life, etc.

ok, so i didn't know what this new amazing cereal was--but i knew it was a form of cheerios, and that it had oat clusters in it. that wouldn't be too hard to find. perusing the cereal isle at the grocery store proved surprisingly difficult. anyone else think we have way too many options? for everything. also surprisingly, the cheerio products were mostly all on the bottom. i spotted a cinnamon-apple type, but refrained. i was on a specific mission. finally i followed the arc of cheerio products up to the eye-level row and many different newer kinds of spiced up cheerios. i found what i was looking for. my heart sank.
what?!? i mean, really. that's the cover you put on this particular cereal box? you know what you've done--you've just alienated 50% of your market**, you realize that don't you? it's the same reason i've never read that chapman book, the five love languages, even though it sounds very interesting--the cover is all pink and purple with a flowery heart. oh, and a side note--i don't read books with shiny covers either. a good rule to live by.

**actually it's probably more like 48%, because i believe there are more women than men in the US(according to the 2000 census. yeah, that's right, this blog does some in depth research). of course that's also not taking into account that the ratio of shoppers for cereal is perhaps a bit higher among women. not important. the point still is strong!

so the question was, can i, a 24 year old self-respecting man, pick up that box and take it to the check-out and undergo the scrutiny of an elder check-out lady and a pubescent boy bagger, both raising their inner eyebrows as the box is scanned and placed upright in the paper bag (yes i said paper)? can i do it? well, obviously i did, but i am still living with the shame of it. i'll heal some day. until then i'll cope with handfuls of sweet cereal that is good for a woman's heart. that is until i get sick of it.


  1. hilarious. I whole-heartedly agree with the cinnamon cereal advocacy. (have you tried Lightly Cinnamon Wheat Thins? You should.)

    And if it makes you feel better, I purchased Keds this week. Yep. Real, certifiable haven't-worn-them-since-the-5th-grade Keds. THAT was embarrassing.

    (in my defense, it's so I can dress like Pam Beasley tonight. But still.)

  2. :) i'm glad you used paper. and that you like oat clusters. sorry it came in an embarrassing package.

    AND what is this "maybe" reply to my going away party next weekend? that will not fly.

  3. chapman also has a "men's edition". it's brown.

    however, it still has a huge heart on the cover. can't win em all.

  4. EVERY gift you ever get from me will be pink and purple.

    yes. EVERY gift.

    um. you never showed me this excerpt from your book that you thought of when you read my post. i'm a little disappointed/i really want to know what it is.
    have fun bacheloring.