today i have to get something off my chest. it is something that has taken control of my life to one degree or another. i even dreamed about it last night, and fulfilled that dream today. was i prophetic? well about this certain secret delight i'm afraid it can only be taken so seriously. i have a secret love...chinese buffet donuts!
yes i actually had a dream about chinese donuts last night--and no not a dream with them in it, an actual dream where they were the center of what the dream was about. there were several of us at the buffet, and we went to get dessert. most of them went for the ice cream first...oh those poor fools. the guy in front of me scooped all the donuts into the corner and took like 7 of them! he saw me standing behind him so he decided to leave two. i never did see the face of this terrible man, but he was about 5'10" and about 265lbs with brown hair and thin glasses. let me know if you see him! so back to my table with my two precious donuts, which i thoroughly enjoyed. everyone else was upset with me for taking the last donuts and they would hear nothing of the gluttonous hoard before me. i told them we could go back later, they would make more. but when i went back they were shutting down the buffet. so sad. of course, i wasn't all that distraught--after all, i did get my two donuts. (dream somewhat reflected an actual event also to be noted)
then tonight my roommate tyler planned a dinner with a group of people. the destination (of which i had no part in choosing): hunam chinese buffet and mongolian grill. if you are in manhattan, this is the place to go. you get the sweet benefit of the mongolian grill with great vegetables and noodles and sauces, plus the entire chinese buffet (though i really only eat crab rangoon and donuts off it)! AND it's all for the low price including $2 student (or $1 faculty if i'm being honest--which i am!) discount of $7.25 with a drink! does it get any better? i submit that it cannot!
so tonight i watched those donuts carefully while i ate the rest of my food, careful to see that they would not run out. time for dessert came and i edged in front of my friends. though it didn't matter--they headed for the ice cream those fools! as i walked up a man clutched the tongs of my beloved bin of sugary fried goodness. i cringed. he picked up a couple, inspecting them and walked away with only one. a sigh of relief. but wait, what was wrong with the ones he inspected!?!? i approached. four remained. they were covered in sugar and looked mighty tasty. they were still warm too and not at all hard, which makes a big difference. i went back to my table satisfied with my rewards while the other fools felt their hands cramp while scooping ice cream. they didn't even want any donuts!
i was quite full from my huge mongolian plate, but the tasty delights had no troubled overcoming my slight lack of hunger. the donuts were half gone before the others even returned--partially because i really wanted them, partially because i didn't want them to know how many i ate. so, in my confession, i had a plate full of 3 chinese donuts tonight. it could have been a lot worse i know, even on top of a very full meal. and i even left one for someone else!
today i got by--not perfectly by any means. in fact, it probably was still too much. so will you help me my confessor? absolve me of my wrong-doing! save my arteries for the future! stop me in any degree you are able!
...that or teach me how to make them myself. better yet, make them for me!!! :)
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I am still bitter about the night you took the last one from me. Perhaps your guilty conscience is getting to you. Try confessing that one sometime. LAST DONUT EATER!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI apologize for the outburst. There is no shame in loving the little donuts. However, I believe they are part of the plan for Chinese world domination. First they get you hooked, then they sucker you into giving up your national identity for them. Beware my friend.