yes this is the segment of my blog where i confess the often embarrassing secret or not so secret things that i just have to purge myself of. sometimes i find release, sometimes joy, other times i stay in my hateful addiction, or every now and then it works out to my advantage.
well my friends you're in for a doozy tonight. this one is bad. i'm not kidding. it's got me tight and i just have to share, though it's probably the worst one yet. in the past they have at least been somewhat laughable and perhaps you still wouldn't think less of me. except maybe for hereos--i'd give you that. i have a healthy respect for judging people based on the tv shows they watch. except you lose all credibility if you enjoy LOST. no arguing that point.
so what is it? what is this horrible thing that has me under its grasp? what has me staying up nights? what has sunk its claws in and won't let go? well you've obviously already seen the picture so the suspense isn't quite there. i'm addicted to playing settlers of catan online.
yes i realize this makes me something of a nerd immediately. is it really so different from people who play world of warcraft or whatever else for hours on end? no i don't play for that long usually, but still. it is sad. such a waste of time. why do i continue to play?!?!
i'll tell you. like any addiction there is a rush to it. when you win and beat out some stupid german who's probably 13 and keeps stealing your resources--oh the satisfaction! the games aren't much longer than 30 minutes and the time flies--so if you lose just play another until you feel that rush of satisfaction. yes it's a horrible thing to be caught under. it gets your heart going and then you can't fall asleep late at night and you have to do something like write a blog post.
i've had trouble with computer games in the past--i mean more the ones that came with your computer, or were online. like hearts or freecell or pinball or spider solitaire. i had to delete all of these games from my computer to get away from them in the past. so why don't i delete catan? well it's coming close to that. the one thing that holds me back is that several of my friends play it. no i won't denounce you publicly--i'll save the public ridicule for myself. this is my confession. but when your roommate is always playing it makes it a lot tougher! and it would be a fun way to keep in touch when another goes to greenland next year. another just moved to kc to be a social worker and i don't get to see her anymore. this game gives us connection!
so what should i do? my confessors, speak wisdom to me. should i delete the game and give up the social connection? should i continue to play but scale back (how do i hold myself back?!?!)--thus remaining a nerd? delete it entirely and be free of it? it is truly shameful. i hang my head in shame in front of you. tell me what should be done.